Things We Wish We Could Say

Even though I just spent 12 hours working an overnight shift in a Pediatric Emergency Room, I came home, looked on Facebook and read this post about "Things I Would Say To The Hospital Staff If I Saw Them Today" by The Feminist Breeder. I should have just gone to bed as I feel I've resolved a lot of my feelings about my first birth, but I felt there was a little extra insight worth sharing, so I had to stick my own comment in there. And then I got to thinking, I would love to hear the comments from my fellow Twin Cities ICANers. I've posted my comment below - and that is the short version. I would love to get even more detailed, but I think this will do for now. Would you please - if you have just a couple of minutes, share your own candid thoughts in our comment section on what you would like to say to staff (it can be GOOD or BAD) if you saw them today. I think we can all use a little reflection from time to time. And I personally always learn from each of the mothers I hear from.

Here is my comment:

"To the staff who was likely waiting until shift change: When I signed that cesarean consent after a 14 hour induction (that was necessary - I'm not denying that) that involved cytotec, pitocin, Magnesium sulfate, a 36w5d fetus, a puking mom, a mom whose liver enzymes were 1100, a broken bag of waters and repeated late heart decels - why in the HELL when I signed that consent at 2:15pm, was I still not taken back to the OR at 3:25pm? Why did you wait until he became bradycardic to the 60s and didn't recover? I already had an epidural that was supposed to be rebolused, but instead it became a dramatic end with people throwing me onto the OR table and an anesthesiologist telling me to take a deep breath into a mask and proceeding to knock me out. You had over an hour to prep me for surgery. As awful as my end of pregnancy was - it became even more of a nightmare when I missed my first child's birth and I didn't have to. I have always mourned that.

And to the two nurses who both told me that I would always need a c-section from here on out (without me even soliciting info on VBAC) because there is too much risk for mom and baby with that route (and apparently no risks for repeat c-sections) - I have always wanted to return to your workplace and tell you what happened with baby number 2. I always smiled and nodded, but in the back of my mind I was thinking - "Oh no - I AM going to have a VBAC." - and guess what - I did! And to the OB who did my section, even though I was overall not really impressed with you at prenatal appointments, thank you for reassuring me that even though you cut me vertically on the outside, that my uterus was cut horizontally and that I could for sure have a VBAC.

Oh - and when a mom says she is breastfeeding on admission - do not just stuff her 5lb 2oz baby with gobs of formula from a bottle. At least syringe feed the baby for crying out loud. You led to many tears, sadness, and a breastfeeding relationship that was ruined. Oh sure, I pumped tons of milk, but I could never get that baby to the breast - not when he was given bottles for the first 17 hours of life before seeing his mama, and then was told he couldn't attempt to breastfeed until mama was off the Mag (which I now know is not true).

Thanks to my midwife with Baby #2, husband, doula, and all of those who believed and supported me in my VBAC. I didn't realize how much my fears from baby #1 would play into this labor. But you kept me going, you stuck with me and that birth, and you made sure that the best outcome occurred for me and baby!"