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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Presenting VBAC in a Positive and Non-threatening Light

Shortly after I had my first c-section I roamed the internet for information on VBAC, as you may remember from previous posts, I knew I was going to VBAC just hours after that initial first cut. I learned a lot, but I was like a loose cannon. For example, when my c/s baby was 6 months old a co-worker was almost to 41 weeks and said she was going to get induced at 41 weeks. I practically begged her to leave the baby in until the baby was ready. Afterwards I called her pager and left her a message apologizing. I am pretty sure I came off as offensive.

The thing is - I just wanted to (and still want to) change the world in regards to birth in America. But, after things settled down I learned that I had to let some things go, and be careful on how I talk with women, otherwise I will turn them off to the very thing I'm trying to turn them on to. I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I'm getting closer - I am really trying to embrace the philosophy of "helping women make informed choices that are best for them - and doing it in a way that they don't feel judged." And sometimes that is so hard when you are screaming things on the inside like "Get rid of that bogus doctor", or "That is the worst decision ever." It's even hard to make those subtle suggestions - ie) when a friend says "I'm just going to say - load me up with drugs [for labor]" and you try to give education related to that and why getting "loaded up with drugs" right away in labor may not be the greatest.

My most recent potential "success" recently was when I was given free reign so to speak. Someone at work approached me (and I had known she had a c/s with #1, but did not know she was expecting #2) and asked if I was glad I had a VBAC. I immediately picked up that she was expecting and said "Hell yeah!" But from there was able to reasonably explain my emotional, mental, and physical benefits. Later she told a co-worker "Yeah, I asked Jessie about her VBAC, and it was not what I wanted to hear." She's really looking for someone to just tell her to do the repeat. But I am so happy that she is looking into this further and that somehow I was priveleged enough to be a part of her questioning process.

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on this subject. I am glad that I always have different online resources that I can use to vent on if I need to. But, I really would like to hear how others who generally have the same views as I do, are able to present their birth views in a positive and non-judgmental way.

P.S. I've been dying to write a post on the topic "As long as mom and baby are healthy". Really - I've had this blog post in my head FOREVER. But have not gotten in down on paper because that is somehow overwhelming. I've read many posts on the topic and I feel I have another twist/opinion to add to it. So one of these days - it will come!

1 comment:

Liz said...

I think this is a wonderful topic for discussion! I agree that I often find it very difficult to share my more natural birth viewpoint with folks who may not be so open to hear about it, but I do still try. I'm an ICAN member down in Nashville, and I had a c/s after a GORGEOUS, long labor due to definite fetal distress. Usually, if it comes up in conversation (that mom wants to be loaded up on drugs or just jump into a repeat c/s), I try to kindly ask why they want to do that... more often than not, it's out of fear. When I then share my story of how excited I was when my birthing time started and how nice it was to feel the intense, powerful, but totally manageable waves washing over me, and how robbed I felt when we ended up needing a c/s, I tend to get a little understanding from them. Anyway, I guess I'm just saying that trying to place the whole process of birth in a more pleasant light (and telling people about how amazing it really can be) can open a lot of minds.